The Bus

Author's Note- This is just a fun piece with no real reason to it.  I am not really feeling like anything today so I just thought of one of my favorite childhood books and wrote about it.
 

The bus,

The stinky,

Smelly,

Yucky,

Blucky,

Stupid ,

Smelly bus.

The kids,

The meanie,

Yelly,

Jumpy,

Sneaky,

Picky,

 Smelly  kids.

The milk,

The owey,

Gooey,

Squirty,

Messy,

Owey ,

Gooey milk.

My hair

My flouncy

Brownie

Swishy

Swooshy

Milky

Yucky hair

The bus,

The stinky,

Smelly,

Yucky,

Blucky ,

Stupid,

Smelly bus.

--- Thanks to Junie B. Jones and Barbara Park

Author's note- I am working on a book at my house (it is not my independent novel, just one I'm reading for fun)  and it is called Antsy does time.  It is where a teenager named Gunner is told where he has only 8 months to live, and people are donating part of their lives to Gunner so he can live longer.  It is a humorous book and the disease isn't really real, but trouble is bound, because these kids are trading their lives away for little things like soda pops and candy bars and such.  


What if,


What if someone told you,
You had two more weeks to live,

What if sanity took it's course,
And sent you straight to bed,

What if the angels began to sing,
High above the sky,

What if time old lovers,
Came back to say goodbye,

What if you kept it really secret,
And then one day just died,

What if all you family members,
Sat all day and cried,

What if all you could do,
Was wait until the end,

What if you sat around all day,
and cried for what you couldn't try

What If nobody really cared,
Your death wasn't even a scare.

What if I was at your side,
The unfortunate day you died,

What If someone told you,
You only had 2 more weeks to live,
Would you remember me?

Burned

Once upon a time a girl decided to play with fire.

Once upon a time that girl got burned.

Once upon a time there was no way to heal her wounds.

Once upon a little girl got scarred.

That girl was me.

I was always going to be an outcast, nobody ever told me, but I knew.  I hid in the corner during playtime, even before the burn, and counted to tiny lines on my hand.  Once I heard that the longest line was supposed to be the lifeline, and the longer it was, the longer you were going to live.  I wanted to see how mine compared to the other kids, but their pointed fingers and mocking glares kept me at a safe distance.  My mom had died giving birth, and my father was an alcoholic.  My aunt came over most of the time to watch me and cook dinner, but sometimes when my dad and I were alone, he would slap me and call me nasty things.  I hated him up until the day he got killed in a drive by shooting.  Later, after all the legal papers were filled out and such, I was up for adoption.  My aunt was my legal guardian, but she claimed that caring for a small child like myself was too much work for her frail body to keep up with.  Lucky me got adopted a year later by a family by the name of Greene and moved out west to Oklahoma. We lived in a tiny ranch on the upper tip of the pot handle and my "mom" always claimed that the stars never shined brighter than right here, over the roof of their tiny 2 story house.  I went to school, had a relatively normal life, ate normally, worked normally, counted normally, but I was not normal.  At most I spoke hardly three words a day, and I refused to go to public places.  I looked normal, nothing was wrong with me, I just hated people.  People would abandon you and slap you and tell you that you're worthless, which is why I preferred to live in my head, rather than with others.    You could say that I was scarred for life by my past, as the metaphorical saying was strangely ironic, but that's for later. Life itself was hiding from what I knew, my past, my future, my life.  I was all alone in life, no friends, no family, no nothing.  Until the day when I got burned.

The Case of the Curious Cat Food

Chapter one-
I set down my book bag with a heavy thump on the desk, then slouched over to my worn mahogany desk.  More paperwork sat on top of yesterday's pile, and the remainder of Tuesday's.  I took out my pen and prepared for 8 hours of hand labor.  I picked up the first pile of papers and set to work. Three hours later I was rudely interrupted by a heavyset man barging through my door with a scowl the size of Africa taking up most of the space on his pudgy face.  My boss threw a pile of papers at my face and plopped down in the chair across from me.  I was actually surprised when the chair didn't crumple under the weight of his enormous backside.  He eyeballed me as I tidied my desk, seeming oblivious to the anger seething through his ears.   "Miss Greene!" He shouted.  I looked up, surprised to see him there in my beautiful office. "You didn't get the employers signature for page 334 of this packet!  And you spilled ranch dressing all over the cover! Do you realize what this means? " He continued without waiting for me to answer. "This means that 65 of our new employees are gonna be given the paddle!" I cannot afford to throw my employees out the window the way you fill out this paperwork! I hired you as a secretary and you blow off your job to get yourself into these messes that you expect me to clean up, I am very disappointed in you.  One more strike and you're out missy.  I mean it this time!  One more messed up letter and I swear I'll let you go! If this company goes under you will be the only one at fault Miss. Green!" He took a breath and I caught some McDonalds and maybe a bit of syrup from breakfast to the eyebrow. I swept my hand over my eye to wipe it off. The crimson of his face before had now just gone to an off red, his usual shade and I watched as he lumbered off to my door. As soon as he was out of sight I went back to my paperwork. He does this every week.  Comes barreling through my door, demanding to know why I left mascara tracks across the bathroom mirror.  He screams at me for ruining his company and my reputation then trudges out again.  But he never, ever threatened to fire me, and to be frank, I was a bit shaken.                    
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 When I opened the door that evening to find that somebody cooking in my kitchen was a bit unnerving.  I threw off my coat, tossed my bag on the coffee table, and walked over to the kitchen.   "Hi honey!" My mother had on her signature sunshine apron and was covered from head to toe in something that slightly resembled cat food, and didn't smell much better.   "Mom……." I trailed off. "This isn't your house," I said slowly, more for my understanding than hers.   "I know sweetie but I'm gonna have to live with you for a little while.  My house is having some issues if you know what I mean."  "No mother I don't and really I don’t want to either.  Take the quest room and, please, stay out of the kitchen.  I hope that I don't need to remind you of what happened last time," Last time my mother's house had it's "issues" she had come here and burned my kitchen to a crisp, literally.  Of course I got a new kitchen out of it but that isn't the point.   "Thanks pumpkin!" My mother said as she ascended the stairwell, suitcase in hand. "Don't mention it," I muttered.  Another month and a half of torture.  Great. Last time my mother had come I didn't know what happened to her house until a week after she left when I read in the paper  LOCAL WOMAN LOSES HOUSE TO HEALTH DEPARTMENT  And of course there was a picture of my mom's house, her in the front yard, holding all ten of her cats.  Let's see, there was Little Tabby, Crazy Katie,  Laughing Lovvy, the list goes on and on.  Turns out her cats were doing their business in certain places and when my mom started to smell the youknowwhat, she called me over to investigate.  I walked in the door and walked right back out again.  From there I ran home, called the health department, and a week later my mom shows up at my door wanting to stay with me.  I really need anti-stress pills.   Something crashes to the floor upstairs and I hear my mother scream- "It is ok.  Nothing is broken." Then under her breath she adds, "Not really" Later I hear the vacuum cleaner start to life and I groan.  That woman is a walking tornado.           -------------------------------------------------------------
The next morning I wake up to the sound of pounding at the front door. I get up and pull back the curtains to see who it was, and I am greeted by the sight of four cop cars and my mother walking out the front door with a confused expression painted on her face.  Not good.  I looked to my clock, 7:15 am. Darn it.  Now not only were there four police cars in my driveway but I was also late to work.  I grabbed my robe and headed outside.   "Excuse me sir, but what is going on out here?" I ask politely.  The obvious man in charge motions for one of the other men there with him to tend to me.  "We were called here to investigate a robbery of cat food from the local Walgreens,"  "Why would they send four cops over to investigate a cat food robbery? What did they do, use the food to knock out the checkout clerk?" "No.  They used the cat food to feed all the cats in the pet store.  The lady working the shift at the pet shop said that the lady just walked in like she owned the place, took each of the cats out of their cages, and started feeding them a bunch of cat food.  Apparently these cats were on a special diet and they couldn't eat anything other than 2 cups of HappyCat Food per day."   "Oh.  Well can't you let her go? She's just a sweet old lady!" "A sweet old lady with a knack for getting through locked doors!"  The best idea ever came to me right then and there. "Okay fine.  Take her away.  I don't care."  "You better not care because you don't exactly have a choice in this matter" "Excuse me? She's my mother!" "She's a criminal!" "I always knew that this day would come."  "What when your mother got arrested?"  "No when I'd start defending my mother," I sighed.  The cop stifled a laugh and turned back to his boss. "Take her away." He motioned towards my mother. "This one-" he waved towards me- "Can stay.  She is no use to us." I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and walked back to my house.  I was about to slam the door behind me when I heard something that I knew was coming.  My mother was trying to fight off the cop and the cop was reaching for his taser.  I contemplated just walking back into the house, but I couldn't leave my mother like this.  I walked back down the driveway to the head cop trying to sustain my mother while he charged his taser.   "Hey mom," she looked up, surprised. "This man is just going to take you down to the station. He needs to ask you a few questions," I looked to the cop.  "Is that right?" I asked him.  "Yes your daughter is right. We will not hurt you as long as you cooperate and get in the cruiser." I looked at my mother, pleading her to do as the cop says.  Finally my wish is answered when she stops fighting the handcuffs and  lets herself be dragged away into the car.  Five minutes later the cruisers are all gone and I am in the shower, getting ready for work.             ----------------------------------------------------------------                 
TO BE CONTINUED

The Stump

The summer sun baked the tiny lake, as it had all summer, and I licked it up.  I loved this place, free from the chaos and stress of the large resorts, but full of life at the same time.  I had a history here, and coming here this summer I knew I had to treasure every moment.  I had come here every other year since I was just an infant, and it was unfortunately falling deeper and deeper into disrepair.  The small fish cleaning cottages where we used to play hide and seek as children were boarded up and cleaned out. The basketball court was missing a basketball hoop and the pavement was covered in large crevices, causing play to be impossible without spraining an ankle.  The wooden play set was molding away, the shuffleboard lane was stained with something I couldn't quite identify.  The gift shop and the restaurant had long since closed down and filled with random junk.  The paint on the cottages was peeling, the toilets rarely flushed.  The hinges were rusted, the paint was cracked.  The old aluminum boats were moldy and gross, the stove, well, lets just say we cooked over a campfire.  The beds creaked, the grass was dead, we had long since been forbidden to go onto the pier.  The boats leaked, the steps wobbled, and the cabins obviously hadn't been remodeled since 1950.  I knew that this place wouldn't be around much longer and a good percentage of people would have said a good riddance and left, but his place was special. 

My aunt and uncle had gotten married here all those years ago.  Then years later we came back and she lost the diamond from her ring.  Talk about coincidence.  My grandma grew up here, and we practically did too.  Eventually my great grandma sold the cabins off to some other people who, had some gambling um, issues.  They gambled away everything in the gift shop and the restaurant,  then they couldn't afford to pay the cleaning people anymore.  They didn't have the money or dedication to repaint or remodel so of course it fell into disrepair.  Eventually the couple ran out of things to gamble away so they sold it.  My grandma's old childhood friend bought it.  She tried so hard to get the resort up and running again but it was simply impossible, so she just decided to sell it.  We went back one last time and on the last day we found the stump. It was just a normal stump, nothing special, but we took one of the knives out of the kitchen and we each  carved our names into that one stump.  Now the space that was once my favorite childhood vacation place is being transformed into a retirement home but our memories will always remain. 

The Car

The little red light above my seat flashed quickly, ordering me to fasten my seatbelt.  

"Oh yeah? What's gonna happen if I don't?" I yelled at the dashboard.  It didn't respond in some much as a word but a sound.  And that sound was the sound of the engine backfiring. 

"Oh great. Just great" I muttered.  "Thanks a lot you stupid piece of junk.  I should have gotten a new car years ago but no I just couldn't. " I kicked at the wheel which promptly fell right off.  "Ok that was weird," I combed my hand through my hair and started to pace around.  How could this happen to me?  This is the most important race I've ever been in and just to my luck the stupid car breaks down.  I reach into my pocket and pull out my cell hone to call the tow company when a roaring noise comes from behind me.  I spin around and I'm pretty sure my jaw literally dropped to the ground.  I had died and gone to heaven. I was sure of it.  Because standing right there was a brand new model Z Ferrari complete with jet packs. I walked over to it in a daze and to my surprise the car door slide open when I pulled at the handle.  I sat in the comfortable leather seats and began to doze off.  About a half an hour later I heard a loud noise and, still in a daze from sleeping, turned my head to find not the road, like I expected, but I huge metal wall.  The wall had at least a million little red lights that were flashing on and off, all on a different timer.  Two little creatures were tied to a cold steel plate in to corner, they appeared to be dozing off.  Where was I? why was I here? Then I felt something cold and slimy on my leg. 

"AHHHHHH!!!!" I screamed.  Then I looked down only to come eye to cloudy eye with a huge python.  I screamed again and the little creatures didn't even stir.  "Help me you insignificant little men! Do you not see me here with this poisonous snake wrapped around my leg!!" I squealed ad shook my leg violently, trying to get the snake off, but his grip held.  A smooth voice interrupted my panicking.

"Oh sandy, do not play with our guests.  They never seem to enjoy your company."

"YOU HAVE A PYTHON AS A PET?? WHAT KIND OF PET IS THAT?"  he laughed quietly

"Watch your questions.  Sometimes you might not want to know the answer." I groaned

"You're not one of those hippie psycho guys right? I find them extremely annoying"

"Watch your smart alec comebacks.   I see right through them."

"Who are you?" I asked

"Only the person in the world you least want to meet."

"You're Miley Cyrus in disguise?" He snapped his fingers

"Butler take her away.  She needs to learn some manners from the Bloatas."

'Yes sir." The butler appeared out of nowhere and gripped my arm tight, very tight.  So tight in fact that I called out in pain. The butler smirked at me.  I wanted to slap him.  I struggled to get free, but like the python, his grip held. The butler was smallish and sickly looking in the light and he had not had his boney  arms wrapped around me, I might have thought that I could break all of his bones in an instant.  He led me to another metallic room and threw me inside. He laughed, a sharp cackling sound, and slammed the door behind me. I heard the lock click.